Little loves

Gwynnie and Ella (in her holiday bandana) surveying the yard from their safe vantage point. While I whine about people letting their cats run free, Gwynnie is so good at staying close that we make an exception. She never leaves the deck, and only every now and then ventures into the yard. She is so loved. 

Ella, on the other hand will go down the front steps to the sidewalk. Everyone knows her and she is so friendly with people and dogs (she knows which ones to steer clear of). A darling dog and a perfect example of why people should adopt from shelters. 

Remembering

Burning a candle and remembering my Mom.

Also remembering to live life to its fullest, or at least as full as I can get it. Tomorrow is not promised.

Love and miss you, Mom.

Light

In these dark times, it's good to catch a glimpse of something bright. 

And that's just what I'm seeing through these branches.

Wisteria

 

A reliable source of beauty in our neighborhood, this lovely hedge never disappoints. This one bloom caught me by surprise on a walk. 

May the world find its way back to peace.

Moss

 

After our many days of rain, which are now over for a while, I love seeing the green moss growing in the cracks of the sidewalk.

Filled with thoughts of my friend, wishing her all possible healing and so much time to continue her beautiful life.

Inspiration

Inspired to post, by my friend at Foziewisp who seems to never miss a day. 

Here: a painting, an African violet, some garden clippings, a Bauer pot, a card, and the Buddha, all sitting on a Tanzu. 

Outward: All good things for the world.

Mental tune ups

Transitioning to retired life is having its challenges. Where there were weekly deliverables, milestones to meet, colleagues to collaborate with and lots of new information to read and edit and absorb, now the inflow has slowed to a dribble, the community included, and what comes in is self-directed. I'm finding out what it takes to keep a mind in good order, focused in a positive direction. Not so easy. 

My coffee dates with friends, weekly chores (which I've taken on as a sort of structure item) and Saturday morning Sangha are helping add in some of the framework of my life that evaporated last September.

One remedy to my mental turmoil is Rajiv Surendra. Some people may remember him from Mean Girls, though he's far more than an ex-movie star. He paints, he sculpts, plays the harp, makes pottery with Guy Wolff no less, has a way with interiors and space planning, arranges flowers, cooks, and does calligraphy. There's more; you'll have to check out his channel. All his videos are great, but I like these two quite a bit for the purposes described above:

How to become a positive thinker: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TTCN2hzhxcI

Tidying up your mind: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-cyLX2eAn0

Walter's key holder

The purge continues, until I hit a payload like that depicted above. 

So many estate sales, many with Mrs Foziewisp, and I have always been a sucker for the remaining sewing hordes of little German ladies. Hence, this one, and I wonder if Walter was her husband.

It was a strange day, full of foggy wanderings in the garage, piling things into the car for the thrift store. 

A couple times now this older woman comes by in her wheel chair, pushed by a caretaker. I've started a little conversation with her both times. I explained how I was doing a bit of Swedish Death Cleaning, and that it really means just getting rid of your stuff so it's not someone else's burden, however long you have, because we never know. She liked the idea. I told her about taking my other Elna sewing machine to the thrift shop and how they treated it like the Hope diamond. She liked this story. Her caretaker asked if I had another sewing machine, and I said yes, would you like it? She's coming by this evening to pick it up. It's a newer model, not an Elna. I have Mary's Elna, which I will cherish and use for whatever needs sewing.

Yes, quite a day. 

A day of sunshine

The scene in this picture is my garage. It contains generations of family 'stuff' that has settled here. There was actually more in this space than this picture shows. But I am chipping away at it. Wish me well.

I talked with a friend today about how sad the world is in so many places. Hunger, war, hunger caused by war; animals, people and children suffering because of all these things. It’s easy to go down the rabbit hole of the world’s suffering, but we have to make sure we don’t let it take us completely down. On days like these I am so incredibly grateful for the simplest things:

A roof over my head, food in the fridge. Friends I can talk to. Friends who will help me if I reach out and say I’m not okay. Family members: some people have no one. The standards: arms, legs, eyes, the strength to go and do things. While these things seem like the bare minimum, to me, it all starts here. And I am grateful for these simple things.

Today I had the privilege of making coffee and sitting in my side yard and listening to birds chirping. The sun is out and it’s a miracle of a day.

Sending warm thoughts to Paige, who lost her dog today. And healing thoughts to a friend who is dealing with a ‘situation’ as she calls it. May she already be or soon be free of all illness and restored to perfect health.

Tonight: dinner with a friend. I am very much looking forward to this.

Peace to all beings – a daily intention, and hello to anyone who happens by my blog.

Question: should I start a slow living YouTube channel? A friend of mine thinks so.

Thoughts on a Tuesday

These boxwoods are growing in Summerland, CA at botanik, a great garden store. They are perfect, aren't they?

Do you write out a daily agenda? I do not, but maybe the time has come. This idea is more pertinent now since my weeks no longer involve 40 hours at a desk. While there are so many great things to do, motivation is key and the ability to enjoy the regular old day to day is also important; though I tend to rate activities as fun/not fun. Wait, be grateful. Any day alive is a gift and as the saying goes, nothing is interesting if you’re not interested. (Credit for that one goes to Alice.)

A recent foray into Buddhism is helping me realize that the ‘self’ I’m so often thinking about really doesn’t exist. We’re just rambling through thoughts in our head that are being randomly generated by who knows what. Body temperature? Pain level; ouch my aching back…here come the thoughts of mortality.

Looking around my living room, I see so many things. Each one has a memory or some energy attached to it. My early interest in minimalism is worth reviving. I would like to pare way down. I started the process in the garage last Friday. I threw away fabric that was never going to be used and too musty to donate. I separated cards: the ones given to me, and the blank ones. Realized I simply have too many. I do think those can be donated.

Had a nice long chat yesterday with an old work colleague who recently found out he has nine siblings. His dad apparently was quite prolific in the child-generation business. Happily for him, all the siblings are wonderful and they all got together over in the UK to meet and connect. What a cool story.

Ok, I'll leave this right here; a little life update.

 

 

Musings on animal protein and trying to stay vegan

Update 4/17/25: It's probably not hard to understand how strong the pull is to eat what you ate as a child. And I struggle with those old habits even though my eyes have been opened to the horrors of factory farming. To me, it feels like an addiction; one I'd like to break completely. Part of it is how I'm cooking, or not, for myself these days. No longer working, I have more time, but somehow less interest in food. I get away with a sandwich for dinner every now and then. Every night can't be an extravaganza. Food prep must be the way forward. Get it all prepared on a Sunday and then it's done for the week. My friend John is a pro at this and should literally have a cooking blog, or YouTube channel. He's very funny, too, and does improv, so I think it would totally work for him. 

Should we all be vegan? I think we should. But it isn't easy to get right. For now, I'm limiting my consumption of animal meat. Hopefully I'm making the smallest dent in the suffering of these beings who were deemed "food." What a terrible fate.

Hi readers, this post includes my views against eating animal meat because this blog is a collection of things I study. If the topic isn't your cup of tea, maybe skip this one.

Nutrition and health have always been a focus of mine. It started in college when I bought Hygeia: A Woman's Herbal at an independent bookstore in Tallahassee, where I attended FSU. It got more serious when my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer and I tried to get her to adopt a macrobiotic diet, which was too austere for her to get her head around and  hard to manage with all the unique ingredients. At that time, cancer cures were diet-driven versus the immuno-therapies we have today. My mom didn't survive her cancer after an 8-year battle, and that pushed me to learning more about anti-cancer diets.

Later at around age 40, when I wanted to lose extra pounds that inevitably crept up, I looked at weight loss approaches. Back then, it was the South Beach diet, because those first 2 weeks worked like magic, but how much chicken breast and broccoli can one woman eat. We all know now it's just an equation of calories in and calories burned. 

Next, I learned about vegetarian and vegan diets, realizing that eliminating all carbs and just eating meat isn't ideal either, so I explored less inflammatory (and less cruel) ways of eating. To stay slim, carb intake can be offset by moving, so you can still maintain your weight without eating an all-meat diet. And if it's quantity you want, move more and you can eat more. Or eat the things that, while filling, are not necessarily fattening, e.g., vegetables, lettuces.

At this same time, I started reading about animal rights and vivisection (I'll never forget the pamphlet about surgeries done on beagles and other dogs without anesthesia) and the awful animal testing that still goes on. I learned about factory farming and slaughterhouse practices. I connected what I ate to where it came from, and what happened in between. After reading how pigs are "processed," I would encourage anyone that eats bacon or any pig-derived meat (pork) to educate yourself on how these intelligent animals are raised and killed. Then, if bacon still seems worth what it takes to get it to your plate, at least your eyes are open about how it all happens. After all, we are free to eat what we want. But it's the awareness part that I think should be mandatory. Kind of reverse censorship where we have to be informed about the meat we eat and how it gets from the live, sentient being walking or swimming the earth to the dead carcass, all tidied up in chunks and wrapped for sale at the grocery store.

My awareness jumped a few notches more when I thought about how similar a dog is to a pig, yet the thought of eating our pets sounds abhorrent. Did you know pigs are smarter than any other domestic animal. Their ability to solve problems, like the pig I.Q. test on The Joy of Pigs, is well-documented, and they are considered by animal experts to be more trainable than dogs or cats. Of course, this argument is so very scary because it's based on a being's intelligence level as to whether it's okay to kill and eat it. That could go in a lot of directions, none of them good, if suddenly a super low I.Q. or some mental incapacity would leave you open to becoming a food option.

Dairy isn't ideal either with the constant, forced impregnation to keep cows pregnant and milk-producing, and the traumatic removal of their babies immediately after birth. All in the course of farming? Maybe okay? Not really okay. And yes, yes, cheese is great, so I'm happy that vegan versions are starting to catch up in taste and texture. 

The fact is no one wants to learn about this stuff or even admit it happens. Wouldn't it be nice if we could keep reality on the far reaches of our minds and imagine that somehow the slaughter part was painless? But that's not the case, especially now with social media putting every unbearable truth right in front of us. 

The choice factor is also key. No one asks, "Hey cow, are you ready to die for this guy's steak?" Or, "Hey chicken population, we are going to eat 1 MILLION of you a minute in the U.S." But, again, I understand the pull of meat, because I ate it for so long, and still slip very rarely. Fortunately, for my health and the animals, as I learn more, I align my actions with greater knowledge, and my values, and I move more towards veganism. The temporary pleasure of a savory taste in my mouth is just less and less worth the karmic load or the heaviness I feel afterward. Yes, chicken soup is good and it's actually called comfort food, but the more I know, the less I find it worth it, or comforting.

I've also let go of the protein myth on how much we need - almost no one is diagnosed with protein deficiency in the U.S. We actually don't need that much, and if you want protein why not get it from where the animals you are eating get it: plants. One less cruel act, and you fill your belly with nutritious food. Win-win. Ok, so you have to eat a B12 supplement, and maybe a multivitamin. Easy sacrifice. Truth be told, it's fiber we are deficient in. That's what feeds all the good bacteria that makes up half our cells and powers our immune system.

I kind of like the idea of going to the source of protein anyway, rather than having a cow eat and digest it, then be slaughtered so I can get that second-hand protein. I also look back at just how many meals of meat I've already had in my life. So. Many. If I get that desperate, I just savor the memory, while staying the course with what I believe is good not only for my health, but for animals and the planet. I think in 50 years from now, and hopefully sooner, we will look back at how we raised and ate animals as a sort of zombie time, full of all the factory farming and slaughtering. Animal populations will go back to normal and we may go back to a new, better equilibrium. Eating the flesh of a petrified animal going to slaughter is proven to  be unhealthy.

Yet, as my post comes to a close, I still believe that you can start anywhere. Maybe just make do with Meatless Monday. That's almost a mainstream phrase isn't it? And then maybe nix bacon, or maybe say, I will only eat it when I eat out. There are little hacks you can do to make a difference. A respected Harvard-educated doctor, Dr. Weil, has said red meat can be more of a condiment/garnish versus the main fare. Though recently he said, nope, no red meat is really good for you. He does leave wild-caught, cold-water fish and omega-3 rich eggs from free range poultry on the menu. For the ethical reasons, I have to leave them off.

Thankfully, strides are being made in the non-meat arena with things like Beyond Burger and Impossible Burger to help people transition without going cold turkey (no pun intended). And I know it's taking hold because of the articles, like the one recently published by the NYT, that are likely pushed by meat-profiteers saying, "Wait everyone! this meat alternative might not be good for you." I think this signals their awareness that they have competition. There are also scores of celebs putting their millions behind vegan foods.

Not for the feint of heart, but if you want to really want to know what goes on in factory farms and how your meat goes from a live animal to a burger, steak or chop, you can read this.

Here's to a less cruel world.

Matt Jones paints with words

Photo by Matthew LeJune on Unsplash

My friend and colleague, Matt Jones (not pictured above), shared some of his word portraits. I don't know about you, but I'm getting a Charles Bukowski vibe. 

Here's what Matt says about his paintings:

I have always been intrigued and somewhat envious of people who sit in public places sketching passersby. It’s a talent I could never develop. I’m a writer and I am more than okay with that.

Then one day I was watching over the shoulder of a young man flawlessly sketching a fellow commuter and it hit me—I can do this. Only not with graphite or pastels.

I can do it with words.

What fascinates me about this idea is when we view a portrait, we all pretty much walk away with a similar representation in our heads (all things being equal). If I say “Mona Lisa” for example, we create very similar images in our mind’s eye.

With a word portrait, image creation is left to the imagination, generated solely and wholly within the mind of the reader. And every image created will be as unique and nuanced as the person themselves.

Here are a few examples, named Orion, Joy, and Patch. I hope you enjoy meeting them. Someday, I’d like to collect enough to do an actual gallery showing where the art on display is nothing but text on a page. A place where you can let your mind be the artist. If I do it, I hope to see you there.

 

ORION

His ill-fitting suit hung awkwardly

from his oddly shaped frame,

all over-hangs and strange angles.  

His hair swept back in thin,

predictable,

oily lanes.

A smug grin dissecting the Orion’s Belt of moles

strewn across his cheek.

Another, single mole perched

at the edge of his profile.

Like a comma at the end of an unturned page.

JOY

She smelled of cheap

Hobby Lobby candle.

Her clothing all black.

Festooned.

With sequins,

crosses,

and strategically placed

factory crafted rips.

Her hair was thin.

Her skin, thick.

A tragedy in tanned hide.

The party had ended long ago.

But she’d be damned

if she’d admit it.

So she orders another drink on the plane 

with an all-too-husky laugh that probably drew desirous gazes, once.

More smoke and roughness

now 

than sex.

PATCH 

The broad swatch of dark facial hair

that rested

Just beneath his lower lip

Looked like a misplaced mustache

that had been violently sneezed south.

Organic visions: Art by Moni Basu

My friend, Moni Basu, just shared some of her artwork. Since this blog is really only read by folks I know, most of you know her. Moni and I have known each other for so many years, yet I'd never seen anything she created - only read her amazing writing. She has always liked my simple line drawings. Now, all these years later I'm looking at her art. For some reason this makes me very happy, and that's why I asked her if I could feature her work here on my blog.

When she sent the first one to me in a text I was wondering what gallery she must be standing in where she took a picture of someone's artwork. The colors, the birds, the beautiful composition. She will say I am biased, but I love her work.

Take a look and see what you think. I saved the most intense for last. She calls it Covid Nightmare. I feel like the cold expression could represent a family member stricken with grief, or a very ill person, or even someone who is deceased. 

The first one is one of my favorites - so full of hope and life. I named it Menagerie. 

The second one I call Navajo Bear. 

The third, Bamboo with Fire. 

The fourth: Mid-century Fauna.
The fifth: Covid Nightmare.

If you click an image, you can see a larger version.