Swedish Death Cleaning

For the past decade, I've helped my husband's parents with all manner of things. I'm a great daughter-in-law, if I may say so, and love my married-into family. I think with my parents already gone, I have a bit more emotional space than folks who still have their parents, so it's a win-win for everyone involved.

My husband's mother, an avid collector, has amassed a layered and rich collection of objects, all displayed in lovely ways. She has been super creative her entire life, mostly in the domestic arts, and her work has brought the family much joy. Every holiday involved a dinner with spectacular centerpieces. We're talking Easter, 4th of July, St. Patty's Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentine's Day, Halloween, Robert Burns supper, and everyone's birthday, celebrations of promotions, dinners to nurse those not feeling well, and more -- I'm sure I'm missing something.

Over her lifetime, she taught classes in teddy bear making, how to do general embroidery, and also Shisha embroidery. Much of her work is now with many of us; my husband has three brothers. She is still with us, though not living in the home I'm describing - it's round the clock care time. It's hard to grasp that she is not the ruler of her little castle any longer, but time stops for no woman.

But back to this topic of cleaning, and Mom's vast collection. Where to begin? She collected teddy bears, many of them vintage Steiff, and by "collect" I mean hundreds. Some bears are so small they fit in your palm. There's also miniature furniture, to go in the beautiful doll houses. Sets and sets of china and glasses, and embroidery supplies -- so much thread you can't imagine, coupled with so many scissors. As a calligraphy artist, she had pens galore in a rainbow of colors, all stored in English crocks. The teddy bears have complete wardrobes, including glasses and passports and tiny notebooks and cutlery of their own, with table cloths and luggage it all fits into. There are chocolate molds, and handmade decor for every holiday, and Pendleton blankets in so many patterns, and a miniature pen collection, and Limoges boxes, and garden rabbits that hold succulents, and a dozen military macaws hanging along the backyard fence keeping watch. There are dainty handkerchiefs and lace doilies, carefully stored with tissue. There are scores of cookbooks and herb books and art books. She loves Brighton handbags and Indian jewelry. She loves Laura Ashley and Mary Engelbreit and Martha Stewart and McKenzie-Childs. She always had an ikebana arrangement on display when you came in the front door, and she took classes at the Athenaem to get even better at it; though she was a natural in floral arrangement. She and her husband held years and years of mystery dinner theaters with a small group of friends, who all traveled to London for more mystery dinnering, with some of the group still faithful friends to this day. What a rich life. What a beautiful life, full of all the things she loved. Oh, and Dad collects fountain pens. If you're getting a picture of a packed house, albeit a beautifully arranged one, you are getting the right idea.

For the last many years, during our daily call to Mom we'd ask what's going on?, and the answer among other things was: "oh, clearing things out. Sorting things. Getting rid of things." From where I sit today, in the midst of these collections and trying to figure destinations for everything, it's obvious that maybe things were moved from here to there, but out the door they did not go!

So recently, the topic of Swedish Death Cleaning has emerged, and I am fascinated by it along with all things minimalism, which for me includes Marie Kondo and The Minimalists and Live Planted and The Mustards and many others trying to live with less clutter and less work, so they can have more time, more experiences, and more life. "Things" own us they say, and they do, because they require us to manage them, sort them, pay rent on them, keep them clean and organized -- all things that cost us something whether time or money or mind space.

At this point in my life, I'm not a good, or even okay, minimalism example, though my goal is to whittle it down to the essentials. May each essential be the most beautiful essential, but by god let there be few of them. Without children, who will have to deal with this if I leave a mess behind? One of my nieces? Our only nephew? My husband, if I go first? A friend? I don't want that for anyone.

I just ordered The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning for a friend and me; we talk almost daily and lately our chatter has been on this topic, and it's pertinent because I am in the throes of cleaning out said collection above. It's been real motivation to not leave my "collection" to anyone. For one reason, it's draining work, full of memories that you can't help but relive. I feel like each item deserves its honoring, as its fate is determined.

So to all those with hoards, maybe get this book, too, and do your döstädning before someone else has to do it for you. 

Article: How to land your kid in therapy

I am not a parent, albeit of a dog and a cat, but this article is full of wisdom. If you have nieces or nephews, you may be able to consider all the ways your brother or sister did or did not prep their kids for a future spot on a therapist's couch.

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2011/07/how-to-land-your-kid-in-therapy/308555/ 

The author, Lori Gottlieb, did a great interview recently on the Rich Roll podcast. He's a wonderful conduit of thoughtful content. It's nice to be able to turn to people who know how to filter all the bullshit out there in the world and just deliver the good stuff.

Hi, 2017

What a whirlwind we live in. So much change and upset, wrapped in apps and snaps. It's a time for looking ahead, moving forward, finding and doing things that make you happy.
What brings you calm? I like to...

1. Photograph daily life on my Insta page: https://www.instagram.com/p/BPObt3rgYQq/?taken-by=robinwrites

3. Make good food: https://www.instagram.com/p/BK1OQZmj0IX/?taken-by=robinwrites
4. Spend time with family and friends: https://www.instagram.com/p/BNOYFH5jXyv/?taken-by=robinwrites - This was from Thanksgiving at our house.

Curled up cats

Floral delights, and pics from the hood

Lunch at my belle mere's house is always a luxury. She placed this little bouquet by my plate. And set the table with bunny plates. Next, pictures are from a recent walk, topped off by chin scratches for local tabby, Bella. 

Bella the Chicken, Seder dinner, Sweet peas

Three fun things in my life: 1. Holding the most darling chicken named Bella at the local nursery. Chickens are surprisingly warm; all the more reason not to eat them. They are literally like dogs with feathers, 2. Attended my first Seder dinner, and 3. Received sweet peas from a friend.

Happy new year

There should be something more lively to tell you to kick off a New Year post other than I’ve had a cold since December 20th. But my head is so full of snot (sorry), that I can barely think straight, let alone breath out a nice happy greeting. There were a few days of reprieve, but I’ve generally been sick now for about 20 days. Ten more makes a month. I emailed my doctor tonight.
A few holiday highlights…
Me, in my new orangey-red coat (a gift to me from me) for pre-Christmas. We went to the Inn at Rancho Santa Fe for lunch with Mom and Dad on New Year’s Day.

I got to kiss the forehead of a pygmy Nigerian goat, while visiting with friends in Florida at Bennett’s for donuts and coffee. Little Lazarus is on the lap of my dear friend, Gail. He was named this because he was born dead, but the guy who owns him massaged his chest for 20 minutes and got a slow heartbeat, then faster, and then “meeeeeehhhhh-hhhhh-hhhhhh,” the wee Lazarus rose from the dead.

Little L. on Gail’s lap, nearly asleep.

All us girls at Goat and Donut Fest, most from high school, all dear friends. From L to R: Christine, Melanie, Gail, Patzi, and me.

A stroll through Adelaide’s florist in La Jolla over the holidays never fails to serve up the holiday goods…

A riot of ornaments on this tree…

Today’s banana bread, part two…is below. I say part two because, the first thing you need to know is my baking is usually inedible. I don’t know what it is, but I mess up so many recipes. Last night I decided I’d make a batch of banana bread and put them in these adorable, rectangular paper baking containers. I’d had them for a while and decided I’d bake them up, taste one, and if they passed the taste test, I’d give them out. Lucky people that didn’t have to eat those. James and I tasted one, and we both spit the bite into the trash at the same time. All you can do is laugh. They were mushy and awful. From the way that bite looked before we tried it, it was pretty obvious it was going to be awful. Not cooked long enough? Who knows. Today I went to my go-to source. This site is tried and true (Simply Recipes). And it turned out great!

Peace, love, and good banana bread,
Robin

A Perfect Day

I’m a wee tardy with this post, but I had to share the cake photo! We celebrated Mother’s Day here last Sunday, and had a great time. The perfect number of folks, gathered on a gloriously sunny day, with the perfect Mom. I am one of the lucky ones to have a mother-in-law that I adore. The chocolate raspberry mousse cake and dutch apple pie were both yummy. I do believe I had a piece of both!

Some red birds even landed in the ivy. Inside. Can you beat a little made-in-China bird to fancy up an indoor plant? While I thought they’d just be a party decoration, I admit they are still there, perched, and still cute. Does this mean I have plastic flowers in my future? Oh dear! Let’s hope not.

Husby even honored my mother status with the fur babies and got me this beautiful bouquet of roses, which I promptly photographed at this odd angle. I love our tribe, though they deny me the pleasure of telling painful birthing stories, like, oh! the doctor had never seen a woman suffer like that! Wait. Maybe that’s just fine.

There were also tulips in attendance, purchased from the wholesale flower place, which was abuzz with Mother’s Day buyers.

And lastly, in mani/pedi news…this past weekend, during some La Jolla moseying, I found a “natural” mani/pedi place and came home with taupe toenails and turquoise fingernails. I can’t imagine ever using these colors even just five years ago. But I have to say, I am thoroughly digging them. They kind of spice up the workday when I look at my fingers typing on the keyboard in turquoise!

Chinchilly >

Turquoise & Caicos >

Have a wonderful week, blog peeps!

, R.

Miami Adventure: Warm and Sunny

I was in Miami recently for work. After the exhausting 4 days of the sales kickoff meeting, I was able to have a relaxing couple of days with my niece and sis-in-law. We roamed the shops of Bal Harbour; which I remember as a kid before they were renovated. We stopped for lunch at Savarin and I had an amazing salad with white asparagus and watermelon radishes! They are so delicious and really beautiful. Check out the colors! The orange was a paper thin shaving of carrot.

The restaurant also had a beautiful case of macaroons:
I’m not sure what a “Cassandra” is, but they were certainly boxed up nicely.

We stayed at the Fountainbleu, and this was the view from the window. The water was so blue and gorgeous…
The floor looked like it was covered in little bow ties…
When I was little, I remember going to the Fountainbleu with my Dad. Here’s what it looked like then:

And, here’s how it looks now: much snazzier, but still retaining the old feel:

I love revisiting places I know I’ve been a long time ago. I can feel the edges of those moments somehow, as if they’re reaching out to touch my soul again. Who knows, maybe Dad was there walking that day alongside me.

Williams-Sonoma Goes Vintage, and Mary’s House Gets Bear-y Cute

I was surprised to see that Williams Sonoma is offering vintage items. They had a table with some very nice, older culinary items. Each had a tag that says FOUND, and then a description complete with a wildly expensive price. Um, silver plate tray, $149? I think not. But it was lovely to look at. 
In other news, my belle mere has the most adorable things going on at her house. Can you say candy kitchen? Pardon the blurry photo; it’s on a window sill with light beaming in.

Oh, and the bears are cooking with pink oven mitts I might add:

Excuse me, I need to get over to the stove and grab one of these teensy utensils to stir the soup:

And then, once your tummy is full, it’s time for a Christmas bed time story!

Oh, and make sure both ovens are turned off before you turn in! This little scene sits on the window sill at the kitchen sink. This must make doing dishes much better, don’t you think?


The cast iron rabbit makes the sweetest ring holder:

The Joy of Cooking, in miniature…and yes, there are actual recipes in the book!

A Day at the Marston House

We had a really fun day at the Marston House for Mother’s Day. We started with an abbreviated tour of just the first floor of the house. I’ve been on the full tour, but this was a nice little taste of the beautiful Craftsman interior, even if we didn’t see much. What a simple and grand house!

A couple corners in the library:


And, the kitchen…


The pantry:

There was also a little “fashion” show. All of the dresses were made of paper! (I thought of you, Mrs. Schottlaender.)


Amazing yummies and gardens! This was but a wee sampling of all the good stuff to eat. I sort of focused on eating and not on clicking pictures. Ha! Then, oh!, all the food was gone! This little chocolate mousse was just the right size.




A lovely trio played sweet music as we relaxed, celebrating the happy day…

And this heart spoke to me from a tree in the garden:

And last but not least, a rose for all Mom’s near and afar…

Have a great week, everyone!
, Robin