Mental tune ups

Transitioning to retired life is having its challenges. Where there were weekly deliverables, milestones to meet, colleagues to collaborate with and lots of new information to read and edit and absorb, now the inflow has slowed to a dribble, the community included, and what comes in is self-directed. I'm finding out what it takes to keep a mind in good order, focused in a positive direction. Not so easy. 

My coffee dates with friends, weekly chores (which I've taken on as a sort of structure item) and Saturday morning Sangha are helping add in some of the framework of my life that evaporated last September.

One remedy to my mental turmoil is Rajiv Surendra. Some people may remember him from Mean Girls, though he's far more than an ex-movie star. He paints, he sculpts, plays the harp, makes pottery with Guy Wolff no less, has a way with interiors and space planning, arranges flowers, cooks, and does calligraphy. There's more; you'll have to check out his channel. All his videos are great, but I like these two quite a bit for the purposes described above:

How to become a positive thinker: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TTCN2hzhxcI

Tidying up your mind: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-cyLX2eAn0

Musings on animal protein and trying to stay vegan

Update 4/17/25: It's probably not hard to understand how strong the pull is to eat what you ate as a child. And I struggle with those old habits even though my eyes have been opened to the horrors of factory farming. To me, it feels like an addiction; one I'd like to break completely. Part of it is how I'm cooking, or not, for myself these days. No longer working, I have more time, but somehow less interest in food. I get away with a sandwich for dinner every now and then. Every night can't be an extravaganza. Food prep must be the way forward. Get it all prepared on a Sunday and then it's done for the week. My friend John is a pro at this and should literally have a cooking blog, or YouTube channel. He's very funny, too, and does improv, so I think it would totally work for him. 

Should we all be vegan? I think we should. But it isn't easy to get right. For now, I'm limiting my consumption of animal meat. Hopefully I'm making the smallest dent in the suffering of these beings who were deemed "food." What a terrible fate.

Hi readers, this post includes my views against eating animal meat because this blog is a collection of things I study. If the topic isn't your cup of tea, maybe skip this one.

Nutrition and health have always been a focus of mine. It started in college when I bought Hygeia: A Woman's Herbal at an independent bookstore in Tallahassee, where I attended FSU. It got more serious when my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer and I tried to get her to adopt a macrobiotic diet, which was too austere for her to get her head around and  hard to manage with all the unique ingredients. At that time, cancer cures were diet-driven versus the immuno-therapies we have today. My mom didn't survive her cancer after an 8-year battle, and that pushed me to learning more about anti-cancer diets.

Later at around age 40, when I wanted to lose extra pounds that inevitably crept up, I looked at weight loss approaches. Back then, it was the South Beach diet, because those first 2 weeks worked like magic, but how much chicken breast and broccoli can one woman eat. We all know now it's just an equation of calories in and calories burned. 

Next, I learned about vegetarian and vegan diets, realizing that eliminating all carbs and just eating meat isn't ideal either, so I explored less inflammatory (and less cruel) ways of eating. To stay slim, carb intake can be offset by moving, so you can still maintain your weight without eating an all-meat diet. And if it's quantity you want, move more and you can eat more. Or eat the things that, while filling, are not necessarily fattening, e.g., vegetables, lettuces.

At this same time, I started reading about animal rights and vivisection (I'll never forget the pamphlet about surgeries done on beagles and other dogs without anesthesia) and the awful animal testing that still goes on. I learned about factory farming and slaughterhouse practices. I connected what I ate to where it came from, and what happened in between. After reading how pigs are "processed," I would encourage anyone that eats bacon or any pig-derived meat (pork) to educate yourself on how these intelligent animals are raised and killed. Then, if bacon still seems worth what it takes to get it to your plate, at least your eyes are open about how it all happens. After all, we are free to eat what we want. But it's the awareness part that I think should be mandatory. Kind of reverse censorship where we have to be informed about the meat we eat and how it gets from the live, sentient being walking or swimming the earth to the dead carcass, all tidied up in chunks and wrapped for sale at the grocery store.

My awareness jumped a few notches more when I thought about how similar a dog is to a pig, yet the thought of eating our pets sounds abhorrent. Did you know pigs are smarter than any other domestic animal. Their ability to solve problems, like the pig I.Q. test on The Joy of Pigs, is well-documented, and they are considered by animal experts to be more trainable than dogs or cats. Of course, this argument is so very scary because it's based on a being's intelligence level as to whether it's okay to kill and eat it. That could go in a lot of directions, none of them good, if suddenly a super low I.Q. or some mental incapacity would leave you open to becoming a food option.

Dairy isn't ideal either with the constant, forced impregnation to keep cows pregnant and milk-producing, and the traumatic removal of their babies immediately after birth. All in the course of farming? Maybe okay? Not really okay. And yes, yes, cheese is great, so I'm happy that vegan versions are starting to catch up in taste and texture. 

The fact is no one wants to learn about this stuff or even admit it happens. Wouldn't it be nice if we could keep reality on the far reaches of our minds and imagine that somehow the slaughter part was painless? But that's not the case, especially now with social media putting every unbearable truth right in front of us. 

The choice factor is also key. No one asks, "Hey cow, are you ready to die for this guy's steak?" Or, "Hey chicken population, we are going to eat 1 MILLION of you a minute in the U.S." But, again, I understand the pull of meat, because I ate it for so long, and still slip very rarely. Fortunately, for my health and the animals, as I learn more, I align my actions with greater knowledge, and my values, and I move more towards veganism. The temporary pleasure of a savory taste in my mouth is just less and less worth the karmic load or the heaviness I feel afterward. Yes, chicken soup is good and it's actually called comfort food, but the more I know, the less I find it worth it, or comforting.

I've also let go of the protein myth on how much we need - almost no one is diagnosed with protein deficiency in the U.S. We actually don't need that much, and if you want protein why not get it from where the animals you are eating get it: plants. One less cruel act, and you fill your belly with nutritious food. Win-win. Ok, so you have to eat a B12 supplement, and maybe a multivitamin. Easy sacrifice. Truth be told, it's fiber we are deficient in. That's what feeds all the good bacteria that makes up half our cells and powers our immune system.

I kind of like the idea of going to the source of protein anyway, rather than having a cow eat and digest it, then be slaughtered so I can get that second-hand protein. I also look back at just how many meals of meat I've already had in my life. So. Many. If I get that desperate, I just savor the memory, while staying the course with what I believe is good not only for my health, but for animals and the planet. I think in 50 years from now, and hopefully sooner, we will look back at how we raised and ate animals as a sort of zombie time, full of all the factory farming and slaughtering. Animal populations will go back to normal and we may go back to a new, better equilibrium. Eating the flesh of a petrified animal going to slaughter is proven to  be unhealthy.

Yet, as my post comes to a close, I still believe that you can start anywhere. Maybe just make do with Meatless Monday. That's almost a mainstream phrase isn't it? And then maybe nix bacon, or maybe say, I will only eat it when I eat out. There are little hacks you can do to make a difference. A respected Harvard-educated doctor, Dr. Weil, has said red meat can be more of a condiment/garnish versus the main fare. Though recently he said, nope, no red meat is really good for you. He does leave wild-caught, cold-water fish and omega-3 rich eggs from free range poultry on the menu. For the ethical reasons, I have to leave them off.

Thankfully, strides are being made in the non-meat arena with things like Beyond Burger and Impossible Burger to help people transition without going cold turkey (no pun intended). And I know it's taking hold because of the articles, like the one recently published by the NYT, that are likely pushed by meat-profiteers saying, "Wait everyone! this meat alternative might not be good for you." I think this signals their awareness that they have competition. There are also scores of celebs putting their millions behind vegan foods.

Not for the feint of heart, but if you want to really want to know what goes on in factory farms and how your meat goes from a live animal to a burger, steak or chop, you can read this.

Here's to a less cruel world.

Organic visions: Art by Moni Basu

My friend, Moni Basu, just shared some of her artwork. Since this blog is really only read by folks I know, most of you know her. Moni and I have known each other for so many years, yet I'd never seen anything she created - only read her amazing writing. She has always liked my simple line drawings. Now, all these years later I'm looking at her art. For some reason this makes me very happy, and that's why I asked her if I could feature her work here on my blog.

When she sent the first one to me in a text I was wondering what gallery she must be standing in where she took a picture of someone's artwork. The colors, the birds, the beautiful composition. She will say I am biased, but I love her work.

Take a look and see what you think. I saved the most intense for last. She calls it Covid Nightmare. I feel like the cold expression could represent a family member stricken with grief, or a very ill person, or even someone who is deceased. 

The first one is one of my favorites - so full of hope and life. I named it Menagerie. 

The second one I call Navajo Bear. 

The third, Bamboo with Fire. 

The fourth: Mid-century Fauna.
The fifth: Covid Nightmare.

If you click an image, you can see a larger version.

Lockdown Life

Photo is from https://www.adorama.com/alc/what-is-minimalist-photography 

My feedburner set up went away due to some phasing out of the feature, so I may email an update to the mailing list so folks know I have a new post up. Please just email back to be removed from future updates if this bugs you.

Lockdown life has been interesting. It started out kinda great, then tensions rose for a bit, and now I'm more relaxed about it again. What choice is there? You stop fighting it and just relax into it. What I've learned is that while I consider myself a home body, the pull to get out and about is very strong. 

My summary of activities:

I've been walking more. As I say in my IG feed - nature is my higher power. It truly is - nature is like a god. To see my IG feed, visit @robinwrites

Watched the Netflix series Tales from the Loop, and really liked it. The actors are great, and the premise and magical vibe of it all was a perfect escape for the times.

Cooking is definitely a thing. Lots of soups, fried rice, easy stuff. But we're still trying to support restaurants with some takeout. Favorites are The Red Door's curbside pickup and most recently Madison. Madison is actually one of my favorite places to eat. My number one fave though is Il Dandy - beautiful interior and incredible food. 

There has been the occasional weeknight glass of Cote du Rhone, because in moderation why not.

Glennon Doyle's Monday Morning meeting time has been a balm. Love her. Also on Instagram. 

In a future post, I am going to publish a piece written by my friend Matt Jones, my work friend. He writes "paintings" of people with words. Stay tuned for that. We just have to talk about when he wants to send me one. I'm also going to ask him to write his description of how he'd like to "show" these paintings. When he told me, I thought it was a really interesting approach - you may agree. 

My friend Moni just did some bird art that I will also feature, but will first ask her permission. Stay tuned for that, too.

I've been supporting some retail establishments with recent orders on Uniqlo, Gap, Old Navy, and TheRealReal. Basics are on their way. By the way, Marimekko fans, Uniqlo did a collab with Marimekko for 2020, so maybe go check it out. In non-retail spending, I've donated to a refugee group that provides kits to new mothers and pregnant women who are being held at the border.

A last snippet is that James had COVID in January. He did the antibody test last week and it was positive. I had a mild case of whatever he had, so I had it, too! Are we immune now? I doubt it. Are we carriers? I don't think so because it's not an active infection. Yikes, another reason for us all to stay distanced. This is so very sad, and I can only imagine how it is for those who've lost loved ones. 

I can't wait to laugh again in person with actual people.

To all the Helpers - THANK YOU.

💗,

Robin

Swedish Death Cleaning

For the past decade, I've helped my husband's parents with all manner of things. I'm a great daughter-in-law, if I may say so, and love my married-into family. I think with my parents already gone, I have a bit more emotional space than folks who still have their parents, so it's a win-win for everyone involved.

My husband's mother, an avid collector, has amassed a layered and rich collection of objects, all displayed in lovely ways. She has been super creative her entire life, mostly in the domestic arts, and her work has brought the family much joy. Every holiday involved a dinner with spectacular centerpieces. We're talking Easter, 4th of July, St. Patty's Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentine's Day, Halloween, Robert Burns supper, and everyone's birthday, celebrations of promotions, dinners to nurse those not feeling well, and more -- I'm sure I'm missing something.

Over her lifetime, she taught classes in teddy bear making, how to do general embroidery, and also Shisha embroidery. Much of her work is now with many of us; my husband has three brothers. She is still with us, though not living in the home I'm describing - it's round the clock care time. It's hard to grasp that she is not the ruler of her little castle any longer, but time stops for no woman.

But back to this topic of cleaning, and Mom's vast collection. Where to begin? She collected teddy bears, many of them vintage Steiff, and by "collect" I mean hundreds. Some bears are so small they fit in your palm. There's also miniature furniture, to go in the beautiful doll houses. Sets and sets of china and glasses, and embroidery supplies -- so much thread you can't imagine, coupled with so many scissors. As a calligraphy artist, she had pens galore in a rainbow of colors, all stored in English crocks. The teddy bears have complete wardrobes, including glasses and passports and tiny notebooks and cutlery of their own, with table cloths and luggage it all fits into. There are chocolate molds, and handmade decor for every holiday, and Pendleton blankets in so many patterns, and a miniature pen collection, and Limoges boxes, and garden rabbits that hold succulents, and a dozen military macaws hanging along the backyard fence keeping watch. There are dainty handkerchiefs and lace doilies, carefully stored with tissue. There are scores of cookbooks and herb books and art books. She loves Brighton handbags and Indian jewelry. She loves Laura Ashley and Mary Engelbreit and Martha Stewart and McKenzie-Childs. She always had an ikebana arrangement on display when you came in the front door, and she took classes at the Athenaem to get even better at it; though she was a natural in floral arrangement. She and her husband held years and years of mystery dinner theaters with a small group of friends, who all traveled to London for more mystery dinnering, with some of the group still faithful friends to this day. What a rich life. What a beautiful life, full of all the things she loved. Oh, and Dad collects fountain pens. If you're getting a picture of a packed house, albeit a beautifully arranged one, you are getting the right idea.

For the last many years, during our daily call to Mom we'd ask what's going on?, and the answer among other things was: "oh, clearing things out. Sorting things. Getting rid of things." From where I sit today, in the midst of these collections and trying to figure destinations for everything, it's obvious that maybe things were moved from here to there, but out the door they did not go!

So recently, the topic of Swedish Death Cleaning has emerged, and I am fascinated by it along with all things minimalism, which for me includes Marie Kondo and The Minimalists and Live Planted and The Mustards and many others trying to live with less clutter and less work, so they can have more time, more experiences, and more life. "Things" own us they say, and they do, because they require us to manage them, sort them, pay rent on them, keep them clean and organized -- all things that cost us something whether time or money or mind space.

At this point in my life, I'm not a good, or even okay, minimalism example, though my goal is to whittle it down to the essentials. May each essential be the most beautiful essential, but by god let there be few of them. Without children, who will have to deal with this if I leave a mess behind? One of my nieces? Our only nephew? My husband, if I go first? A friend? I don't want that for anyone.

I just ordered The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning for a friend and me; we talk almost daily and lately our chatter has been on this topic, and it's pertinent because I am in the throes of cleaning out said collection above. It's been real motivation to not leave my "collection" to anyone. For one reason, it's draining work, full of memories that you can't help but relive. I feel like each item deserves its honoring, as its fate is determined.

So to all those with hoards, maybe get this book, too, and do your döstädning before someone else has to do it for you. 

Where did my interest in Minimalism begin?

Helen and Scott Nearing

I’m always learning as much as I can about simple living. It appeals in so many ways. I’m even taking a course right now called Soulful Simplicity. Here’s a link to the course, which is closed now but reopens in 2020.  It was created by Courtney Carver, the inventor of Project 333; also worth a Google.

But today I was wondering where this fascination began. Sure, I got on board with TheMinimalists guys early on and probably listened to 100 or so of their podcasts. I still dip in occasionally for a listen. But it really started with Scott and Helen Nearing, in my mind, the OGs of simple living. Their foundation website is here.  Scott and Helen were homesteaders, and I mean hardcore: root cellars, canning, popcorn for dinner, cold winters, simple Thoreau-style living quarters. Serious about it. And now as I look back, this is where the early concepts of minimalism entered my mind. I was younger when I read their books, and it appealed to me because I had the strength to have maybe pulled it off. Finding a willing partner, now that’s another story. But at my age now it sounds like a cold winter I’d never make it out alive from. Heavens to Betsy, turn on that heater!

I don’t know where this path leads, but it resonates so deeply with me. And with that, good night and sweet dreams to all.

Build in buffers

Last week, I went to lunch at a favorite spot, got a veggie sandwich on olive oil bread and sat in my car parked in the shade in front of a large green plot of grass. Trees swaying, cool breeze and the dulcet tones of one of my fave podcasts: The Slow Home Podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-slow-home-podcast-with-brooke-mcalary/id985005895
It's run by a couple who shares interesting updates and advice on living slower in a fast paced world; they also host guests. I loved a concept they shared about building buffers into your days. Little breaks from the busy life agenda - always a good thing.
In other news, we recently saw Downton Abbey and Ad Astra. Both great.
Better still, I'm enrolled in Courney Carver's Soulful Simplicity course based on her book https://bemorewithless.com/soulful-simplicity/ and it's very helpful. If you have any desire to simplify your life, check her out.

New Film: by the National and Mike Mills - I Am Easy to Find

The new film by Mike Mills with music by The National tells a story of a woman's life from birth to the end of her life. It stars Alicia Vikander who plays the role to perfection. It's a winding, emotion-filled and beautifully shot story that is made more intriguing by A.V. playing the part in her current age, though the story begins with her as an infant. Her movements change as her age changes, and the nuance of those movements I think is what makes the film so great especially at the beginning. I was glued to it from the first moments, and of course as a big fan of The National, I loved every note of the soundtrack. I had to watch it again - no less compelling the second time.

Article: How to land your kid in therapy

I am not a parent, albeit of a dog and a cat, but this article is full of wisdom. If you have nieces or nephews, you may be able to consider all the ways your brother or sister did or did not prep their kids for a future spot on a therapist's couch.

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2011/07/how-to-land-your-kid-in-therapy/308555/ 

The author, Lori Gottlieb, did a great interview recently on the Rich Roll podcast. He's a wonderful conduit of thoughtful content. It's nice to be able to turn to people who know how to filter all the bullshit out there in the world and just deliver the good stuff.

Hi, 2017

What a whirlwind we live in. So much change and upset, wrapped in apps and snaps. It's a time for looking ahead, moving forward, finding and doing things that make you happy.
What brings you calm? I like to...

1. Photograph daily life on my Insta page: https://www.instagram.com/p/BPObt3rgYQq/?taken-by=robinwrites

3. Make good food: https://www.instagram.com/p/BK1OQZmj0IX/?taken-by=robinwrites
4. Spend time with family and friends: https://www.instagram.com/p/BNOYFH5jXyv/?taken-by=robinwrites - This was from Thanksgiving at our house.

Slowing down

Nearly 10 days of sniffling, sneezing, aching, and whining. Cap that off with my phone being stolen this Sunday. I joked when my husband came home for lunch the first day I was "existing" without my phone:

Him, walking through door: Hi, how's it going? Me: Oh my god, someone found me! I feel like a Chilean miner hearing the first taps from rescuers.

Today is day two of the phoneless situation, and I have a new practice brewing. While I have the options of checking my social sites via desktop, I'm finding myself not doing that. In my new phoneless world, no one can call me. I'm not getting texts. I can't send any texts. I feel lighter. If you want me, it's email or you could write me a letter.

Slowing down brings the little things into focus. Give you time to read about the Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life by Hecktor Garcia and Francesc Miralles.

Floral delights, and pics from the hood

Lunch at my belle mere's house is always a luxury. She placed this little bouquet by my plate. And set the table with bunny plates. Next, pictures are from a recent walk, topped off by chin scratches for local tabby, Bella. 

O Happy Day of Love

Wishing everyone a love-filled day…
, R.

NYSD

My current obsession is the New York Social Diary. You can spend far too much time (or maybe I can) reading about the old-money families of the leisure class. Like Mrs. T. Charlton Henry photographed in 1965 by Diane Arbus. Not only does the site cover people, but huge estates including all the beautiful interiors. This picture is actually from a different, though similar, site. I think reading “That Woman” has perked my interest, though I’ve always been attracted to this sort of thing: mansions, antiques, the eccentric, and finer things of olden days.

Let me live here

I got this gorgeous image from a blog I enjoy, and it just grabbed me. Actually, I would like to take her walking tour, exactly as she laid it out. Then, I’ll move into this house. I want to sit in that chair for like 4 hours and just sit. Maybe there’s a fire to the right. Maybe there’s a cat just waiting to jump in my lap as I sit.
What would we do without our imaginations?
Image: [8 Fitzroy Street Vanessa Bell (Eastbourne)]

Just one of those days

“For it is in giving that we receive.”
~ St. Francis of Assisi

For all those out there who are in need…people, dogs, cats, the tiniest bug. Sending a little prayer that they get what that thing is, in time to make a difference. Sending love and more love, to a universe of souls.

Gratitude

There is so much to be thankful for, and it’s always good to let it be known. Even if no one hears or reads it, it’s good to put the words to paper (or a digital file). They say it makes your heart healthier to feel gratitude. And, I believe it. I’m so thankful for family…and health…and the job that keeps it all afloat…and for friends that provide the extended family that we couldn’t live without…and the dogs and cats that warm our hearts and extend the family further…and for the Earth that provides the things we need to live…and for every day that we get to exist with freedom and the opportunity to be who we are.

Image source: http://www.owlsdaughter.com/2010/09/serenity-and-gratitude/

A Day at the Marston House

We had a really fun day at the Marston House for Mother’s Day. We started with an abbreviated tour of just the first floor of the house. I’ve been on the full tour, but this was a nice little taste of the beautiful Craftsman interior, even if we didn’t see much. What a simple and grand house!

A couple corners in the library:


And, the kitchen…


The pantry:

There was also a little “fashion” show. All of the dresses were made of paper! (I thought of you, Mrs. Schottlaender.)


Amazing yummies and gardens! This was but a wee sampling of all the good stuff to eat. I sort of focused on eating and not on clicking pictures. Ha! Then, oh!, all the food was gone! This little chocolate mousse was just the right size.




A lovely trio played sweet music as we relaxed, celebrating the happy day…

And this heart spoke to me from a tree in the garden:

And last but not least, a rose for all Mom’s near and afar…

Have a great week, everyone!
, Robin

Lazy Sunday

Had a great morning with the in-laws; went to breakfast at my favorite spot in La Jolla – Pannikin. They  make steamed eggs with basil, feta and tomato and they’re so yummy. I think I’ve posted about this same topic like 10,000 times. Shows my true devotion to the eggs. Ha! Then, to the farmer’s market for flowers. Also stopped by Mary’s – she gave me a bunch of garden roses. So gorgeous and fragrant. They almost smell like grapefruit.

I also got some ranunculus and chamomile…at the farmer’s market…


The dude at the farmer’s market said we could take 10 to 20 chamomile buds, put them in a tea cup, pour boiling water over and voila! chamomile tea! We may try this tonight.
I also made some strawberry lemonade today after a stint out in the yard planting a new lantana and some other various and sundry (no pun intended) growing things…

I hope you all had an equally lazy day, full of thinking about nothing but what you were doing and letting any cares fall by the wayside.
, Robin

This Must Be What It’s Like

…to have two children, and one is faster, more outgoing, and more cunning than the other. Our fur-child #1, Kate, was for all accounts, feral. We discovered her in a storm drain by a very busy street. She had the very slightest of purrs, jumped at noises outside, ran and hid from people, and was generally delicate. Feline-fur-child #2 is the opposite. A rattling purr, super-outgoing, faster than a speeding grey bullet, and devious to the tips of all 20 very sharp claws. I know these crazy kittens will work it out, but it’s sad to see her chase our darling Kate under the bed where she has to run to escape the tiny talons of terror. The lazy afternoons with Kate in her bed on my desk are replaced with insane chases through the house until either I throw Gwyneth in the hutch or Kate gets high enough or hidden enough to escape the little rascal. Ah, the kitten drama!

But for all those mothers out there that have to go through this with REAL children: ouch, it must not be easy.